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December 6, 2014

Respect and Understanding. 12.06.2014

Filed under: Old & New Testament — Adam Osborne @ 11:42 am

Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others.

First memory jogger….remember as we look at this lesson today, we are talking about biblical manhood….(1) how us grown men are to grow in our sanctification and our pursuit of a more Christ like walk; (2) what you younger men should learn so that you know how to grow; and lastly what all of us men, young or old, need to teach our sons, who will also teach their sons….etc.

From the “From Boy To Man” booklet:

Psychologists now talk of “emotional intelligence,” or EQ, as a major factor in personal development. While the world has given much attention to IQ, EQ is just as important. Individuals who lack the ability to relate to others are destined to fail at some of life’s most significant challenges and will not fulfill some of their most important responsibilities and roles. (We will get back to these points during our discussion)
• By nature, many boys are inwardly directed. While girls learn how to read emotional signals and connect, many boys lack the capacity to do so, and seemingly fail to understand the absence of these skills.
• While a man is to demonstrate emotional strength, constancy and steadfastness, he must be able to relate to his wife, his children, his peers, his colleagues and a host of others in a way that demonstrates respect, understanding and appropriate empathy.
o This will not be learned by entering into the privatized world experienced by many male adolescents.
o Parents–especially fathers–must draw their sons out of inwardness, and demonstrate what it means to relate to others as a man and as a Christian.

————–END OF PDF SECTION ———————–

Let’s talk about Emotional Intelligence a little bit more. Tell me more about that.
o First, someone define for me what exactly Emotional Intelligence is:

[Emotional intelligence = understanding other peoples emotions, their fears, their needs, their desires, their fears, their happiness.]

o What does a good emotional intelligence look like, what does a bad one look like?

Now, let’s discuss the area in the booklet that says: “Individuals who lack the ability to relate to others are destined to fail at some of life’s most significant challenges and will not fulfill some of their most important responsibilities and roles.”
o What? Why?

“Parents–especially fathers–must draw their sons out of inwardness, and demonstrate what it means to relate to others as a man and as a Christian.”
o Let’s talk about this. What does this look like?
o Does this apply just to parents?
o Would this apply only to your family, but also in your jobs, us older guys, or you younger supervisors, how does this relate to you?

Now, let’s go to the Bible, let’s see what God’s Word has for us on this.


If we men, want to be the father or co-worker or supervisor that understands their children or understands other men and women:
• What would that look like? How would I show that I am a man of understanding? What are the traits and characteristics of a “Man of Understanding?”

Psalm 119:130 The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.

Proverbs 2:2-5 Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for [hidden treasures], then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.
o Discuss the words hidden treasures, the implications, the importance, “treasure” not normally associated with what we would call “treasure”

Job 28:28 And he said to man, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.’”

2 Timothy 2:7 Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
o OK, let’s think about this one again men. Read it again in your own mind.
o In our daily lives, how are we GUILTY of this in a spiritual way? (Don’t we always try to prove God, or prove this OR that spiritual matter? There are just some things that we will not understand this side of heaven.)


Proverbs 18:2 ESV A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
o Do you talk too much? How about those men who never listen, are you one of those guys? [I know that I have certainly been one of these guys….we all have]

Proverbs 17:27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
o How about those guys who always seem to get mad, or hot really fast?
Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

How does UNDERSTANDING fit in with “marriage”?
1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.


I looked up “Respect” on Wikipedia this week, and this is what I found…

“Respect is one of the most (if not the most) important attributes for society to maintain, yet it is hard to define. On its broadest level respect is the acknowledgment that someone has value… The importance on this value is that it changes peoples reactions towards you, usually in a positive way.” ~ Wikipedia

Someone kick this off for me. “Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others”…..WHY is respecting others considered a crucial key to Relational Maturity?
Same question as last time:
• What does a man of respect look like? How does he act?
• How do other people know that he is a man of respect?
• What is it that men of respect NEVER DO?
Lev 19:32 “Show respect to the elderly, and honor older people. In this way you show respect for your God. I am the LORD. (respect equates to honor in this one)
1 Peter 2:17 Honor everyone. Love your brothers and sisters in the faith. Fear God. Honor the emperor. (So, not only the older, but everyone, and also those in power)
Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
• Fathers, sons, what is the last part all about…fathers no provoking your children to anger….what has that got to do with respect….[this is advice so that fathers do not lose their children’s respect]

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other. (respect = devotion)

Romans 13:7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (NLT) Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live…

1 Timothy 3:2-3 (NIV) Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. [What persons do we usually associate these two verses with?…deacon, elder, pastor]

Let’s turn the study around 180 degrees. What about earning other’s respect?
o Positions don’t guarantee respect.
o Titles don’t guarantee respect.
o Age doesn’t guarantee respect.
o Experience don’t guarantee respect.

None of those guarantee respect because respect is something you earn. It doesn’t simply come to you. You need to earn it. How do you do that?

Matthew 7:12 (NLT) “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”

LASTLY: If you want to become a person of respect, you need to start by respecting yourself and respecting others.
o 1 Peter 2:17 (NLT) Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters.

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